Hi Felix Massie!
Please do not be alarmed or sceptical, as my email address suggests I am indeed Tom Cruise! THE Tom Cruise! I doubt I need to say more than that, I am sure you have heard of me! Everyone has! I’m well loved all over the world for my roles is such films as Cocktail, Days of Thunder and Austin Powers 3: Goldmember!
I’m sure, right now, you are asking yourself “Why is the amazing international film star Tom Cruise emailing me, Felix Massie, a simple animation student from Wales in England?”
That’s a good question!
The answer is simple! The other day my enthusiasm level was at an all time low in a pre-production meeting for Mission: Impossible 4! It was so low I was almost sitting down and my fists were only half raised in the air, level with my ears! I decided I needed inspiration! I started googling my name to find some motivating articles about how great I am and somehow I came across your website and was instantly taken with your stick men animations! After watching a few of them I instantly leapt up, punching the air with my fists and shining my pearly whites at the execs around the table before me! I span my Sony Viao MW400 laptop around on the desk and pointed at the screen with my thumb extended, a slight lean in my shoulders and a tilt of my head! “This!” I said with quite assurence “This is the direction we need to head in!”
The execs looked at me with a mild sense of confusion, a look I had seen many times! I knew how to deal! I stood up, leaning back slightly, casual! “Guys! There’s is a reason the M:I franchise has been so massively successful!” I say, click of my fingers, thumbs pointing at my chest “Trust me!” and of course they did!
So, Felix Massie – may I call you FeeLo? Good – I am emailing you because I think you are the perfect candidate to bring Mission: Impossible 4 to the big screen! Seriously! We took a risk with JJ Abrams for M:I 3 and it paid off! Now I want to take a bigger risk with you FeeLo! I want you to direct M:I 4! I think stickmen is the way to go! We have a massive budget once again and naturally I will be playing Ethan Hunt but this time it will all be stick man! Mission: Impossible 4 – In stick men! You can picture it can’t you! Amazing idea yes? Don’t I know it! Audiences will lap it up! I can feel it in my perfectly manicured gums! Stick men fireing guns! Stick men avoiding explosions! Me, in a fist fight with 12 stick men all at once! Stick woman love interest! I am so excited about this I am literally leaping on the sofa as I type this! I’ve not done that since Oprah!
So that’s the cookie! You in or are you in? I think we can really make something special with this! Let us be amazing together! Just confirm your interest with me and I will get back to you with further details! We will get you over here, we’ll bang out some ideas! I’ll take you gliding! You can meet Katie! This is it FeeLo, you’ve hit the big one! Don’t let me down I know you won’t! We can do this! YES!!
B seeing you!
Tom (Cruise) The T Man! (T = Tom! As in Tom Cruise! Me!)
